What About Before?
How to refer to trans people in the past

A common stumbling block for many is how to refer to trans people when talking about the past, prior to transition. Often the instinct is to refer to them as they were presenting at the time, especially if the person referencing them is talking about personal memories. While this impulse is understandable, it can be hurtful to trans people and may cause them to experience gender dysphoria. Unless they state otherwise, the safest and most respectful way to refer to trans people in the past is by using their current names and/or pronouns. 

Some may argue that it doesn’t make sense, as “she was a he at the time!” However, this outlook is from an outsider’s perspective, not the trans person’s lived experience. While the person may have been presenting differently at the time, it is almost certain that their presentation did not align with their internal identity. The presentation was most likely a façade developed as a safety mechanism. Since gender identity is innate and not chosen, they have always been who they say they are now, society has forced them to present in a different way before.

Another faux pas that is often made is to treat the person’s prior presentation as if it were a different person entirely, and that person died. This line of thinking invalidates the trans person’s prior life experiences, taking their truth away and giving it to a fictional representation built of expectations. Similarly, using the term “deadname” to refer to a person’s name pre-transition has grown to be unpopular due to the connotation that the person with that name is dead. Alternatives suggested include “birth name”, “prior name”, and “given name”.